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DDC DOWNLOAD

Twice a year I am lucky enough to be invited into the Durango Detention Center to speak to the young people inside.

Here’s a little recap of the last two weeks.

As I said at the end, if you know someone, please send a note to info@learnfrompeoplewholivedit.com

Peace,

Mathew

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Our merch is here

OK, so we’ve hand-selected the best T-shirts, hoodies, hats, and other cool stuff for you to rock in your corner of the world. The hoodie is my favorite from Independent Trading Co., and the T-shirts are all next level. I personally have the tote (thanks Mom) and its ’s one fantastic little bag.

Please check out the new t-shirts we’ve designed with some of Mathew’s favorite sayings.

SHOP RIGHT NOW

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Revive and Thrive is here!

Revive and Thrive

When I left my healing retreat a couple of years ago, I walked away from a career that came with stability, a decent paycheck, and loads of great experiences. I met Taylor Swift, interviewed Presidents, and rode in a limo with an A-list celeb while he was being screamed at by the co-star in their new movie. That wild night ended with me on a bus with a trusty bucket over my head. It was not my best moment, but I was 27 and full of energy. And alcohol. Seems like a lifetime ago, honestly. Two kids and 20 years of marriage later, I find myself here in a familiar place. I’m starting over and using different words. I owe all of this to work I’ve been doing on myself since July of 2021. I’ve been doing the work. I’m curious again about who I am and what I want to leave behind. I refuse to be someone who comes and goes. I need to leave this place better than I found it. We hear that phrase every now and again, and I believe it has a name. A transitional character. In my retreat, it was clear that the way to be a transitional character is to take care of yourself. I’m not talking about your massage every nine months or wine night with friends; I’m talking about REALLY taking care of yourself. Movement, food, water, sleep, managing expectations, forgiveness, laughing your ass off, and, hardest of all for me, having hard conversations with people. Very soon, I will be offering you a chance to take the same journey I went on at your own pace.

For the last seven months, Dr. David Leicken and I have been working on a 6-week wellness course you can take on your own. Guided videos, some introspective homework, and weekly check-ins are all part of it. It’s for you if you feel like you're in a rut or stuck. It’s for you if you don’t feel like yourself or if you’ve been wanting to start a journey of self-care and healing and don’t know where to start. We’re very proud to offer this to you and have two very special announcements. Our course will always be free for Veterans, and we’ll offer a discount if you bring along an accountability buddy. This course will do both of you some good. If you want more information, please sign up for my newsletter, and I’ll get updates as they come in. Thank you, and have a great day!

Mathew

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Greif Relief Event

I am excited to announce that I have found a group of passionate healers who want to help me put on my first retreat for folks struggling with grief. Here is a summary:

If you are at least three months from losing your loved one, our team of healers will guide you through 4 unique experiences to help you start or continue the healing process of losing your loved one. 

  • Breathwork and movement led by Teresa Porter, with over 23 years of experience

    • Licensed and certified massage therapist and yoga instructor

    • Emotional release practitioner 

  • Witness a transformative equine therapy session led by Rob Boyle

    • Proud Disabled Veteran with a Degree in Psychology, with a focus on research for Anxiety Disorders using horses with anxiety disorders.

  • A river ceremony to honor your loved one lead my Mathew Blades

    • Podcast host and mental wellness advocate

  • Licensed professional counselor Jill McMahon, on-site facilitator

  • A delicious catered meal and a campfire in nature

  • Leave with new tools, a new community, and a fresh perspective

When: October 14, 2023

Time: 1-8 p.m.

Where: Rite of Passage Equine Therapy

30817 N. 144th St. Scottsdale, Az 85262

Price: $597/pp

Includes:

  • A pre-zoom session with Mathew Blades, and Teresa Porter and one post-zoom Jill McMahon. 

  • Seven-hour retreat, breathwork, movement, equine session, river ceremony

  • Dinner and a campfire conversation filled with tools and next steps

  • Transportation to the river ceremony

  • Journals 

  • Yoga mats

Simply visit this link to sign up today

https://www.sirrineyoga.com/grief-relief-retreat




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Umar Kankiya, Developing a New Way to Parent as a Dope Black Dad

LFWPLI: Umar Kankiya, Developing a New Way to Parent as a Dope Black Dad

In this episode, Mathew and Umar discuss the differences and similarities of the struggles they experience as fathers and what it means to try to parent in a new way. Umar has always been one to challenge the status quo. As the first-generation son of Nigerian immigrant partners in the UK, he channels that determination into breaking generational trauma, creating a new way of doing things, and leaning into being a dope black dad for his two daughters.

Dope Black started in 2018 as a group message sent by founder Marvyn Harrison to his friends expressing that he was thinking of them and that he appreciated the work they did as fathers. He soon realized there was a need for connection and developed a network of communities aimed at creating a future where black people are better skilled, trained, and informed on the major issues and play a key part in the solution.

“It’s ok to mess up. It's just about how you deal with it and how you come back from that.”

In this episode, you'll hear: 

  • How and why Dope Black was created and what they are doing to support people around the world 

  • The unique struggles black fathers face and the power of connecting with peers

  • Tools Umar uses to step back into life when he finds himself retreating into depression 

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Mathew and Umar

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Larry Hagner, Practical Ways to Become the Parent and Spouse You Want to Be

LFWPLI: Larry Hagner, Practical Ways to Become the Parent and Spouse You Want to Be 

In this episode, Mathew and Larry discuss what it means to pursue Legendary Fatherhood and why, just like everything else, it takes practice to get good at it. Larry’s own father walked out on him twice but eventually, he moved on, graduated, got a good job, got married, and then realized he had become the kind of parent he never wanted to be. From that point on, he has dedicated himself to learning what it means to be a good father and husband who’s in it for the long run and is passing those skills on to others. 

“10 years ago I became the monster that I swore to protect my son against.”

In this episode, you'll hear: 

  • Tools to create an environment where your kids feel safe talking to you

  • Practical ways to improve communication and intimacy in your marriage

  • The importance of cultivating relationships with your peers 

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* This podcast is not meant to serve as medical advice to treat any medical condition in either yourself or others, and is not a substitute for therapy.

www.learnfrompeoplewholivedit.com

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Kyle Dean Houston, Overcoming Addiction and Finding Redemption in Self Awareness

LFWPLI: Kyle Dean Houston, Overcoming Addiction and Finding Redemption in Self Awareness 

In this episode, Mathew and Kyle discuss his journey from meth junkie facing two life sentences to a devoted father, loving husband, and VP of a $2 Billion company. After two years of hiding his past and surviving stage four cancer, Kyle realized he was living a life rooted in fear and decided to change. Now, he is on a mission to give purpose to the pain by helping others overcome the guilt and shame that is standing between where they are now and their higher selves. 

“It doesn't matter how far you fall. You can get back up.”

In this episode, you'll hear: 

  • Why negative self-beliefs were causing Kyle to act out in destructive ways

  • The way drug addiction, being a junkie, and recovery impacted the people around him

  • How he was able to finally forgive himself and the impact that had on his life

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* This podcast is not meant to serve as medical advice to treat any medical condition in either yourself or others, and is not a substitute for therapy.

www.learnfrompeoplewholivedit.com

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Eric Tivers, Understanding Adult ADHD and Learning the Skills Needed to Thrive

LFWPLI: Eric Tivers, Understanding Adult ADHD and Learning the Skills Needed to Thrive

In this episode, Mathew and Eric discuss the challenges of a late ADHD diagnosis and talk through some of the tools Eric has developed to help him overcome those challenges. After being considered a lazy child and struggling through his first few semesters in college, the fog finally cleared when Eric discovered he had an “invisible disability”. As a licensed clinical social worker, coach, podcaster, speaker, and consultant Eric is teaching others that with the right medications and mindset they can be the successful people they are meant to be. 

“In order to be successful with ADHD, you gotta be willing to bend the world to you.”

In this episode, you'll hear: 

  • How ADHD impacts relationships

  • Misconceptions surrounding ADHD and why we need to let go of productivity as a measuring stick of our self-worth

  • The power of self-awareness, self-advocacy, and self-determination 

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Truly Transforming after Prison + The power of Education with Cordero Holmes

The following episode was recorded in the Durango Detention Center in front of 16 juveniles with the hope that our words impact them and their lives moving forward. 

Cordero tells Mathew his story is not just the story of a boy from the hood, and it’s not just a prison story. But rather, it's a story about the transformative power of education, battling impostor syndrome, being courageous, and the importance of community.

He talks about the nuances between gangs and communities and the ways they are interlocked as well. Cordero opens up about the feelings of fear he felt about going to prison, what he thought it meant to be a man, the pressures he felt to live up to that standard, and how being in prison allowed him to see the human in all.

He emphasizes the impact of the information gap, how he battles imposter syndrome, and closes on what he would tell his younger self now if he had the chance.

Cordero Holmes represents possibility and growth through exposure, self-reflection, and the belief that one can cause change.

Cordero is now a junior majoring in public service and public policy and was recently awarded the 2022 Martin Luther King Jr. "Living the Dream Award" by the city of Phoenix. He says the life he is living now is bigger than he ever dreamed possible. He is on a mission to meet the responsibility he feels to improve his community and has ambitions of running for office.

"Don't lose faith and don't give up. Even when you feel like there is no hope, it is never hopeless.”

In this episode, you'll hear: 

  • What Coredo's childhood was like and how he ended up in prison

  • The emotions Cordero felt while gang-banging, in prison, and once he got out

  • What caused Cordero to change his perspective and how he changed his life

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 Additional Credits:

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Ron Blake, Rape Survivor and Man on a Mission

Suicidal ideation, sexual assault, domestic violence

In this episode, Mathew sit’s down with Ron Blake as he shares his story of overcoming suicidal ideation after he survived domestic abuse, a violent sexual assault, and ongoing harassment. After being reminded he still had laughter and hope inside of him while watching “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert”, Ron decided then and there to start taking small steps that eventually set him on the path of healing by sharing his story and hearing thousands back in return. 

“If you take a step and it's not what you need, then find something else. Keep going”

In this episode, you'll hear: 

  • The power of a moment of hope, having a purpose, and starting with small steps

  • Encouragement in finding tools to heal from YOUR trauma in YOUR way

  • The story of how Ron got to do a TEDx talk on his “social engagement therapy”

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Website - learnfrompeoplewholivedit.com/

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Len DeCarmine, How Men Can Increase Awareness and Build Better Relationships

In this episode, Mathew sit’s down with Len DeCarmine to talk about awareness, the challenges of being a modern man, and how to look inward to make the small changes that will improve your life. Len sees men in today's world suffering in silence and is passionate about creating spaces for them to create community, learn balance from each other, and be empowered in their relationships.

In this episode, you'll hear: 

  • The tools that can help you build awareness

  • How connection and communication make us better

  • Steps you can take after you discover your blind spots 

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Marianne Gouveia, life after loss by suicide and finding healing at EricsHouse

LFWPLI: Marianne Gouveia, life after loss by suicide and finding healing at EricsHouse 

TW: Talk of suicide and addiction 

In this episode, Mathew and Dr. Dave talk with Marianne about the reality of suicide, the effects it has on people left behind, and how EricsHouse is helping people find healing. 

Marianne’s youngest son, Eric, fell victim to suicide after an injury that lead him to develop an opioid addiction. She quickly realized there were very few resources to really help her deal with the pain, guilt, and despair she found herself left with. Eventually, she learned to approach her new reality slowly, found healing in community and conversation, and decided she would give life a new meaning. That journey lead her to create EricsHouse where people affected by the suicide of a loved one can find peer support, group support, and resources for holistic healing.

“One day you will hear their name and it will make you smile versus cry”

In this episode, you'll hear: 

  • What led Marianne to create EricsHouse

  • “The Rule of Thirds” and other tools to help you heal

  • When you can lean on peer support and when you need to get professional help

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* This podcast is not meant to serve as medical advice to treat any medical condition in either yourself or others, and is not a substitute for therapy.

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Tony Rodarte, Breaking the Stigma and Improving Mental Health for First Responders

LFWPLI: Tony Rodarte, Breaking the Stigma and Improving Mental Health for First Responders

In this episode, Mathew and Tony discuss why he created Compassion Alliance and how the organization is supporting first responders on their journey to achieving optimal mental health. Tony retired from the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office after a 20-year career, with the last 11 years being in the homicide unit. 

Compassion Alliance provides trauma therapy for first responders all across the country. They confidently match people with a trauma therapist and pay for those services. They support first responders and their families through uncomfortable conversations and advocate for them in this changing and hostile environment. 

“You're not broken. You're bent.”

In this episode, you'll hear: 

  • How regularly seeing trauma uniquely impacts first responders 

  • Why removing the stigmas and providing confidential help is essential 

  • What is being done internally to help first responders

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* This podcast is not meant to serve as medical advice to treat any medical condition in either yourself or others, and is not a substitute for therapy.

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Anna Maria, Healing your family

LFWPLI: AnnaMaria Quagliata, Healing Generational Trauma from Within

In this episode, Mathew and AnnaMaria discuss how negative thoughts from childhood create the patterns we live in as adults and the power of the mind-body connection to facilitate healing. She tells the story of feeling inadequate as a child, finding herself in and then escaping an abusive marriage, and being a single mom of two young kids all while surviving cancer. 

Through a blend of clinical and traditional methods, she broke free from her trauma and is now able to help others find their own path to healing. AnnaMaria is a healer in every sense of the word.

"I would love to support anyone who is called to heal using a blend of conventional and folkloric modalities. I have experience with so many modalities and can support anyone just beginning their healing journey or even those who want to go deeper into their own heritage and lineage."

In this episode, you'll hear: 

  • Tools to get control of your mind and make real changes in your life 

  • A new perspective on generational trauma and traditional values

  • How healing yourself heals those around you

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Connect with the guest:

  • annamaria@ourheartsenter.com

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 www.learnfrompeoplewholivedit.com

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Jeanette St.Germain and Kate, The Healing Power of Energy Work

LFWPLI: Jeanette St.Germain and Kate, The Healing Power of Energy Work

In this episode, Mathew and Jeanette discuss the work she is doing at the Radiant Soul Center in Tempe, Arizona and Jeanette takes one of her clients, Kate, through a healing session. We get to hear how they tap into and explore core false beliefs that are blocking the flow of energy, and how they are able to call in a source frequency to hold space for Kate’s inner child to step forward. 

 Jeanette St.Germain has been a healer her whole life and has been working in the space professionally for over 14 years. She helps her clients unravel things deep in their DNA, access the wisdom of their ancestors, and she teaches us there is no healing without relationships. 

“I'm not here to save the world. I'm here to help people remember that they can save themselves.” 

In this episode, you'll hear: 

  • Ways to identify obstacles and tools to get around them

  • The benefit of understanding the why

  • How to know when you're in your head vs when you're in your heart

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Scott DeLuzio, Moving forward through loss as the Surviving Son

Reserved for Vets: Scott DeLuzio, Moving forward through loss as the Surviving Son

In this episode, Mathew, Chad, Dr. Dave, and Scott discuss survivors' guilt, failures and successes on the road to healing, and how Scott found his way out of the darkness.

Scott DeLuzio is an Army infantry veteran who lost his younger brother while they were both deployed in Afghanistan. He is the author of Surviving Son, host of the Drive On Podcast, and an artist who is committed to connecting with service members and civilians to discuss personal life experiences and give hope and strength to the Military community.

“This isn't me. This isn't the person I was. It's not the person I want to be. It’s the person who I am right now, but I need to do something to change this”

In this episode, you'll hear: 

  • How people handle deferred grief and resurfacing emotions of loss 

  • The impact Scott's family felt and the role they played in his journey

  • Tools that helped Scott heal

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* This podcast is not meant to serve as medical advice to treat any medical condition in either yourself or others, and is not a substitute for therapy.

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Danielle Knox, Growing up LDS and Discovering Beauty in Imperfection

LFPWLI: Danielle Knox, Growing up LDS and Discovering Beauty in Imperfection 

TW: Suicidal Ideation

In this episode, Mathew, Dr. Frank, and Danielle discuss judgment, meditation through art, the power of the stories we tell ourselves, and how sometimes what is best for us isn't best for the people around us.

Danielle Knox grew up in the LDS church and carried the feeling of “I'm not good enough” for years. After leaving the church, going through a messy divorce, and feeling like she lost her identity, she found Reiki. Eventually, she learned how to listen to herself and realized there is beauty in inevitable imperfection. 

“Find that peacefulness within yourself. If you work on you, all the other things kind of align.”

In this episode, you'll hear: 

  • Tools to overcome perfectionism 

  • How Danielle was able to turn the noise down find herself

  • Strategies to help you tap into your intuition 

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* This podcast is not meant to serve as medical advice to treat any medical condition in either yourself or others, and is not a substitute for therapy

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John Shufeldt, Living Life to the Fullest with Tolerance and Perspective

LFPWLI: John Shufeldt, Living Life to the Fullest with Tolerance and Perspective 

In this episode, Mathew and John discuss “fragile perfects”, the challenges of getting out of your current circumstances, and how it’s often the small things that make the biggest impact

John Shufeldt is a practicing physician, author, speaker, business founder, and healthcare consultant to tribal hospitals. Above all, he is a lifelong learner who surrounds himself with the right people and knows how to live his life to the fullest.

 “You better enjoy every day, and if you're not enjoying every day you better find a way to get there”

In this episode, you'll hear: 

  • How to go beyond your self-imposed limits

  • 3 things John has learned from being an emergency physician

  • The importance of perspective and humor 

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* This podcast is not meant to serve as medical advice to treat any medical condition in either yourself or others, and is not a substitute for therapy.

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Paul Mecurio, Leaving Your Comfort Zone to Pursue Your Dreams

LFPWLI: Paul Mecurio, Leaving Your Comfort Zone to Pursue Your Dreams 

  In this episode, Mathew and Paul discuss how laughter is a key part of healing, the uncertainty of changing careers later in life, how lost he felt while bouncing between Wall Street and open mic nights, and the success he found after he leaned into comedy.

Paul Mecurio is an  Emmy Winning Comedian on The Colbert Late Show, The Daily Show, and his podcasts called Inside Out. 

“This thing had picked me and I need to listen to that. 

In this episode, you'll hear: 

  • Why Paul felt he had to live a double life

  • What it feels like to walk away from comfort to fulfill a dream

  • His views on measuring progress without clear benchmarks 

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